Thursday, March 4, 2021

In March the Earth Remembers it's own name

Worm Moon

 

by Mary Oliver

I.
In March the earth remembers its own name.
Everywhere the plates of snow are cracking.
The rivers begin to sing. In the sky
the winter stars are sliding away; new stars
appear as, later, small blades of grain
will shine in the dark fields.

And the name of every place
is joyful.

II.
The season of curiosity is everlasting
and the hour for adventure never ends,
but tonight
even the men who walked upon the moon
are lying content
by open windows
where the winds are sweeping over the fields,
over water,
over the naked earth,
into villages, and lonely country houses, and the vast cities

III.
because it is spring;
because once more the moon and the earth are eloping -
a love match that will bring forth fantastic children
who will learn to stand, walk, and finally run
   over the surface of earth;
who will believe, for years,
that everything is possible.

IV.
Born of clay,
how shall a man be holy;
born of water,
how shall a man visit the stars;
born of the seasons,
how shall a man live forever?

V.
Soon
the child of the red-spotted newt, the eft,
will enter his life from the tiny egg.
On his delicate legs
he will run through the valleys of moss
down to the leaf mold by the streams,
where lately white snow lay upon the earth
like a deep and lustrous blanket
of moon-fire,

VI.
and probably
everything
is possible.


 

Thursday, May 3, 2018

Sunrise

Moab sunriseMarch 15, 2015
I can't explain the joy of the morning sun. There is nothing like the feeling of being suddenly and profoundly wrapped in it after walking around and waiting in darkness and coldness. Everything feels possible and I want to live so good and so hard and so purposefully. And I am happy to accept the challenges of my life: they no longer feel like foreign, imposed obstacles, but beautifully handcrafted tokens that I get to feel and be a part of and somehow becoming is made in them. It's a gold light. And unlike the sunset, it is here to stay for hours upon hours and that brings a different hope. It's ushering in day: movement, reasoning, searching, seeking, striving, feeling, facing; whereas the sunset bridges us to dark: settling, withdrawing, stillness, safekeeping, dormant, cocooned in dreams not of earth or mortality. 




-Timpanogos Hike 2009
-Vancouver Trip 2010
-November Weekends post 2011
-Cannon Beach 2017

Sunday, April 8, 2018

I want to make the Ferry

Related image 

One night, Allie and I almost missed this ferry. There was a storm. There was a fight. We kept missing turns. Our gas light came on. We went 90 mph in a 50 mph zone in front of a highway patrol. The officer didn't chase us down. We saw the lights of the open garage at 8:28 pm. It was leaving at 8:30. They usually close gates at 8:15. The gate keeper let us through. We pulled into the ferry garage and I put my face in my hands and sobbed. Sobbed. We made the ferry.

I just want to make the ferry. Don't we all? We just want it to be as good as we believe it can or should or is meant to be. We all want to cross over the darkness we feel is insurmountable in our lives. We all want to cross over and change and become and see the other side and feel loved and known and not lost and we don't want to come up short or mess it up or be left behind. We are all scarce. We are all scared. We are all racing and wondering if we are screwing it all up with every mile we speed through the highways of our lives. Are we going to make it? Are we going to get it? Are we deserving of what we actually want in this life? On this night, March 12, 2018, the Universe answered with an unequivocal
YES
&
YES
&
YES

We will cross over. 

Friday, March 24, 2017

Dream Big



LDS newsroom released this article this week and it is right in line with my hopes and dreams for this world, and at the heart of the Work I need to do while I am alive: 

Stability relies on the wellbeing of women. Foreign policy scholar Valerie Hudson asserts “there is a strong and highly significant link between state security and women’s security. In fact, the very best predictor of a state’s peacefulness is not its level of wealth, its level of democracy, or its ethno-religious identity; the best predictor of a state’s peacefulness is how well its women are treated.”[9]

A world where women are empowered to follow their conscience is a world of greater peace and possibility.

Saturday, March 18, 2017

Life's Purpose



MaryB died this week and I am a crying mess today and the sun is out but I am not and I feel like i just want to wake up and stop being a sad little baby about everything in my life. I want to be free and whole and full and awake and I want to be Light.  I want to give something to this world instead of taking all it's sadness and loss. I want to be something in this world other than selfishness and laziness and lack of action. I want to run and not be weary, walk and not faint, I want my bones to carry me to places I need to be. I believe there are places and specific people I have yet to meet, faces that I have to see and love and listen to. I want to be Pilate from Morrison's mind and a bit of Emily Madsen's confidence and Ashley Longshore's dancing pump up videos and Clark Goldsberry's enthusiasm energy and ability to ASK, and Brene Brown's storytelling and opening global conversations about shame, vulnerability, and connection, Lin Miranda's songs and hand gestures when he talks about things he cares about, and Sufjan's Red Rock Concert in 2016 when he decided to LIVE. These people GIVE the world something it didn't even know it needed. They give something to the World that the World doesn't even deserve or ask for. They give us and the world something elevated, transcending, and above the norm and smog and hatred and traffic and selfish billboards and advertisements. They give something of God to this super broken, bleeding, unfixable world of ours. Nothing can fix this evil place, but these people show me that we can become more than what the World says we can. They show me beauty and hope and I hear my own symphonies, sounds, images, and dreams call to me and I know I must give the same. I must give something of myself or I am not fully living. My purpose is to give something of God that can only come out of me. I have to give it. I have to find it. Or I will be sad.

Wednesday, January 11, 2017