Sunrise

Moab sunriseMarch 15, 2015
I can't explain the joy of the morning sun. There is nothing like the feeling of being suddenly and profoundly wrapped in it after walking around and waiting in darkness and coldness. Everything feels possible and I want to live so good and so hard and so purposefully. And I am happy to accept the challenges of my life: they no longer feel like foreign, imposed obstacles, but beautifully handcrafted tokens that I get to feel and be a part of and somehow becoming is made in them. It's a gold light. And unlike the sunset, it is here to stay for hours upon hours and that brings a different hope. It's ushering in day: movement, reasoning, searching, seeking, striving, feeling, facing; whereas the sunset bridges us to dark: settling, withdrawing, stillness, safekeeping, dormant, cocooned in dreams not of earth or mortality. 

-Timpanogos Hike 2009
-Vancouver Trip 2010
-November Weekends post 2011
-Cannon Beach 2017

I want to make the Ferry

 

One night, Allie and I almost missed this ferry. There was a storm. There was a fight. We kept missing turns. Our gas light came on. We went 90 mph in a 50 mph zone in front of a highway patrol. The officer didn't chase us down. We saw the lights of the open garage at 8:28 pm. It was leaving at 8:30. They usually close gates at 8:15. The gate keeper let us through. We pulled into the ferry garage and I put my face in my hands and sobbed. Sobbed. We made the ferry.

I just want to make the ferry. Don't we all? We just want it to be as good as we believe it can or should or is meant to be. We all want to cross over the darkness we feel is insurmountable in our lives. We all want to cross over and change and become and see the other side and feel loved and known and not lost and we don't want to come up short or mess it up or be left behind. We are all scarce. We are all scared. We are all racing and wondering if we are screwing it all up with every mile we speed through the highways of our lives. Are we going to make it? Are we going to get it? Are we deserving of what we actually want in this life? On this night, March 12, 2018, the Universe answered with an unequivocal

YES

&

YES

&

YES

We will cross over.